http://culturepush.com/2017/05/28/reply1811-by-shenna/

“It is a strange age to be every year because I am growing old but never as wise as I need to be. reply1811 runs me through the pains of youth, the changes and in-betweens. For anyone surviving a terrible time, I hope reply1811.com smells like soft green grass rolling out before you, or a living room where you can just be, with pictures sitting on the walls that neither care nor mind you.”

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나는 이제 안다.
견딜 수 없는 것을 견뎌야 하고
받아들일 수 없는 것들에 지쳐
당신에게 눈물 차오르는 밤이 있음을

나는 또 감히 안다.
당신이 무엇을 꿈꾸었고,
무엇을 잃어 왔는지를.

 

I now know, you must endure things you cannot endure, be worn out by the things you cannot accept, that there are nights when your eyes are brimming with tears. And daresay I know… what you’ve dreamt of, and what you’ve lost.

it feels alright, not having finished high school, no inheritance, not a love to count on, heavily peppered white shoes from no path but the dirt path, and should god rain down a mighty spit on this messy hair. u wake up, empty-handed, glad and small. some days (today) u want to be anything but. because the forces¿ have been relatively kind, the stupit winds slap me and i force me to be kinder too. some days (today) i want to say.. two paths diverge in a wood and u can laugh at mine but i am going to sleep on yours

tears like this come twice a year.

it is in your white dandelion hair, your unusually handsome features, the look on your face when you cushioned me from that blade, a firm, quiet plea for the brutality to stop. it is in the beauty of losing your birth date at war. it is in holding your hand, slow walks. it is in being your baby grandchild. it tells me never to be anything bad, vain, rude. for many reasons—none enough—i miss you

2

Beam me up! I love the moon like the optimistic bend of your eyes. If you squint your eyes enough, they slice the moon up against the night.

If you wake up to find your fingers stained gold, don’t point me to the sun. I love the sun only for the moon. I hate the sun. Run me through the pains of youth, throw me to the panda bear, don’t point me to the sun.

“These are the pieces of my youth, The small secrets and not-so-great expectations that defined my coming of age”

Two paths diverged in a wood and you can laugh at mine but i am going to sleep on yours. You laugh like a flower, teeth like teacups, eyes like –– ––, pure as the middle of a cucumber. I leave out every thing that actually happened and has been said. Two handfuls of soil joined by a mighty spit! Please laugh at mine but i am going to sleep on yours.

all things true, all things noble, all things just, pure, all things lovely, the slightest virtue, You say. You, dear Lord, my dream. i just want to hear the slightest sound of my dream turning in its sleep.